Author’s Note
What am I interested in?
I am deeply interested in ‘experiences’ and ‘dramatic moments.’
Just as there is no ceiling on taste, there is no ceiling on the happiness or joy that experiences bring.
Whenever a person enters a new world, a larger world always opens up, and when they believe they have entered that new world through their own efforts, they think they can come and go as freely as crossing a threshold.
Why do I address this topic?
There is no need to be overly elated just because a new world opens.
Nor is there any need to be disheartened.
When something pleasant arrives, something unpleasant is sure to follow,
and after the bad passes, good things are bound to return.
Black and white, like and dislike, good and evil, yang and yin… These contrasting things are usually attached like the front and back of a single sheet of paper.
According to the psychological concept of Mind-Wandering,
people spend about 25-47% of their waking hours on thoughts or daydreams unrelated to what they are currently doing.
That is how much we live amidst ‘illusions’ and ‘distractions.’
I try to set aside the noise I feel in my daily life and simply observe what is happening to me.
How do I visualize it?
My work thoroughly utilizes the things around me.
It is more improvisational than deliberately planned.
I always try to realize the forms I envision,
but just like the newly opened world, it is not easy to replicate exactly what I have in my mind.
In other words, I feel the serendipity and joy that arise from the action itself and then reflect them in my work.
What does the work explore?
The work is a small clue to some memory within my experience.
I do not intend anything specific. Nor do I try to make it look impressive.
I simply organize the fragments in my memory into writing, then recall the imagery evoked by the text and work improvisationally.
I explore the results of inner dialogue, which constantly conflicts within my inner self, even unknown to me, and translate this into my work.
What experience do I propose?
Everyone has an experience they wish to return to. And there are dramatic moments they long to recall.
Sometimes to surpass that experience…
Sometimes to recreate it exactly…
We make countless efforts.
However, unfortunately, perfectly recreating such a situation with human ability is an illusion that exists only in our minds.
Rather than wandering to possess what we cannot have, let us make frequent use of what we already have.
And let us remember.
Even if a new door opened, no one could enter.
And, before knocking on a new door, let us consider that the space where I stand might also be a new door for someone else.
Everything is within me.
When You See Things You Normally Don’t
We all live our lives seeing only what we want to see.
The situations in which I have seen or realized something new are summarized below.
(Vicarious Mastery Experience)
– When someone who has experience solving the problem I face, and is still working in that field, gives me advice.
– When my worldview is expanded anew through someone’s advice, experience, or content.
(Encountering Unexpected Situations or Events)
– When things that were previously unseen become newly recognized through reflecting on past experiences.
– When suddenly falling ill or facing an unforeseen event makes you cherish the ordinary things in life.
Experiences where I saw new things I normally hadn’t seen…
1) In my twenties, while traveling to Pangong Tso near the Himalayas in India.
I newly learned about the greatness of nature and the joy that new experiences bring to life.
And it became the decisive catalyst that led me to live the life of an idler for several years.
And everything less fun than this began to lose its appeal.
2) The Perfect Drink Had in an Unexpected Situation
Afterwards, I made countless attempts to recreate that perfect situation, but I could never find it again.
I gathered people, sought out food, and tried to force the mood, but it was hard to recreate that festive atmosphere, so I just drank heavily to at least capture a similar feeling.
3) The Memory of Desperate Immersion for Survival (Thursday, November 7, 2024)
On my way to learn video after finishing a very difficult and exhausting training… A photo and a record of a conversation I took without thinking.
The innocence and effort to record that fleeting moment even in that moment…
Thanks to that, I later learned how much I love performance and how quirky I am.
What did it mean to me when I saw things I normally hadn’t seen?
– Through new experiences, I gained new momentum to move forward. (Motivation)
– At times, it was a comfort that allowed me to communicate with my dual-sided self and soothe myself. (Inner Dialogue)
– At times, it became a reason to give up or wander, unable to forget something perfect. (Wandering)
Even if a new door opened, no one could enter.
Even if a new door opened, no one could enter.
My indulgence in travel ultimately never came to an end.
A situation that perfectly satisfied me was something I could almost never encounter in life.
In other words, I had come to know a new world, but I could never reach it, and I always had to be content with merely imitating the atmosphere around its edges.
My indulgence in alcohol also ultimately never came to an end.
I tried countless drinks to recreate the drinking session I had in that unexpected situation,
but I only imitated the atmosphere; I could never reach that state.
In other words, that situation existed only in my memory. I had learned a new taste and feeling, but I could never attain it.
None of my fierce past situations were a badge of honor to me.
The photos of my past that I thought I would remember forever were tucked away in a corner of my memory, so much so that I had to force myself to look at them and force myself to remember to know what situation they were. Also, my thoughts and circumstances had changed so much that I wondered if they had even been that precious.
However, the embodied memory from the experience remains somewhere in my body.
That is all.
